Losing your soul, part 2

I'm sure you remember the memorable clip from this post, which featured two Bank of America drones singing an ode to their assimilation of MBNA to the tune of U2's "One". The video is so popular on Die IntërWeb now that even the New York Times is writing about it, noting that humorless lawyers from the Universal Music Publishing Group are now deploying the cease and desist letters. (See this Stereogum blog post - scroll down until you find the comment from "Raul R. Gonzalez, Esq.") The article also quotes the singer, Manhattan banking center manager Ethan Chandler, a Manhattan banking center manager, protesting "A lot of people thought it was fake, but I really do sing!" See, he's a real singer, folks, and he's even got his own album.

Already, there are the inevitable parodies. David Cross has been covering the cover in concert. The first clip is Cross at a comedy club, the second his Cross at a Modest Mouse concert accompanied on guitar by , captured by Angry Citizen before being hassled by security.

What it's like to lose your soul - karaoke style!

This is a clip of a Bank of America employee celebrating the absorption of MBNA by BoA in 2005. To the tune of "One" by U2. No, I'm not kidding. Watch it all the way through, if you can.

Great, you've made some money. Congrats. But let's not pretend this represents any sort of achievement in "hiiiiger staaandards" or anything else except squeezing more money from Americans, giving them fewer choices, getting them further in debt, and making it harder for the ones in difficult financial circumstances to get out of debt by declaring bankruptcy.

If I ever choose to celebrate the merger of two gigantic banking corporations in song in a non-ironic way, I encourage and require you to shoot me in the face, repeatedly, and after I am dead, dig up my corpse and shoot me in the face again.

We live on a different planet than these people. If you are reading this, I hope you live on my planet, where people and emotions and genuine achievements are more important and more worth singing about than profits and mergers and giant corporations which have more rights than you and I. If you believe that I hope you are living your life that way instead of just muttering something to yourself on the way home from listening to some middle manager sing about how great it was to sell his soul.

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.

Lloyd Dobler, we need you more than ever.