I could have lived my whole life without seeing this, but since I saw it, you have to see it too.
Okay, it's alternate future old man spider-penis, but still...
This panel is from a Dark Knight Returns-rip off (and the reviews say it's nearly a page by page rip off) called Spider-Man: Reign by writer-artist Kaare Andrews, featuring Spider-Man as an old broken down florist. (?!) You can see the first ten pages here, and in just those ten pages, I don't see anything that isn't obvious and tired and ridiculous and lame all at once. The art isn't bad though, but nothing I think worth fussing over.
*sigh* Even if Steve Ditko weren't already an Ayn Randian kook, this would send him over the edge.
Seriously. Spider-Man's penis, folks. What the hell?